Journal

I didn’t learn to swim until I was around 10 years old, thus was one of the last among my adolescent friends to take the proverbial plunge. I remember feeling great fear and anxiety as I moved deeper and deeper into the swimming pool and was unable to do anything to help myself maneuver in the water. Every time I moved into the deep where my feet could not touch the bottom, panic would set in and I would struggle, kicking and paddling until I crossed back into shallow waters.

Many of us, if we were to look deeper underneath the surface would find some grieving that is in need to be let out and embraced. Life often wounds us. At times this wound is much too difficult to feel in the moment because if we were to truly feel the weight of the issue, it would be overwhelming and far too difficult to navigate. Rather than feeling in the moment we learn to ignore, self medicate and repress. Instead of embracing our less desirable emotions we learn to turn them off and lock them out.

Many of us have learned from our past experiences that relationships are often unsafe and to protect ourselves from further hurt we do not offer our true selves presently in relationships. If we were to show up, we would then be forced to deal with the real messiness of living in community and the idea that we might be let down, hurt or even rejected. Simply put, connecting deeply with others in the moment is risky.

Anxiety might very well be the most common symptom that people talk about during their time in therapy. Anxiousness can be brought on by a myriad of reasons and can even show up without any identifiable initiator. Anxious feelings are familiar for all of us and can be irritating, exhausting and even at times debilitating.

As we age there is temptation to let go of the enchanting view of the world of our childhood. We learn early on to “act our age.” And “stop being so childish.” Not to be a “baby.” Often these remarks are ways of pointing out ways in which people should act in a more mature, reasonable manner, but is it possible that children may see the world more appropriately? Could it be that the childlike nature we are taught to repress actually hinders our emotional growth and stunts our imagination?

Pursuing solitude requires certain boldness, an intentional choice one makes to enter into community with one’s self. There is a courage one shows in carving out such time in a world where productivity is championed…